Wedding Vow writing Guide

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​I know-- why is a photographer writing a Vow Writing guide? That's not part of her job.

Firstly, I attend a lot of weddings (as you may have guessed) and have seen a lot of vow exchanges!

Secondly, did you know I used to be a calligrapher? My specific hand-lettering was used to write out couples' vows and then have them framed for their walls. It was a really lovely and special job to be trusted with such sacred words couples said to one another on their wedding day. And consequently, I read through MANY wedding vows.

​After hearing or reading all these vows, I've noticed that not all vows are the same and some vows are indeed not vows, but more like speeches or encouragement. I noticed that some couples were not on the same page when it came to sharing vows, stories, or commitments to one another, and I couldn't help but wonder if couples found themselves disappointed they and their spouse weren't on the same page?

For example, I received a set of vows to write out for a couple and immediately noticed that they both expected two different things from their vows. The groom wrote a small list of things he loved about his future bride and everything she had done to better his life. The Bride wrote how much she loved her groom and also wrote out a handful of vows she was committing to him. I wondered, after reading those, if the bride was disappointed that the groom hadn't vowed or committed anything to her. I wondered if they'd discussed whether or not he would write vows or if she was totally cool with him writing a list of how she's made his life better? I really had no idea, but I thought-- huh, I think I would like to be on the same page if I was going to share these with my partner in front of other people.

Speaking of people-- I also encourage couples to really think through whether or not they want to share their vows publicly. For some couples, sharing private vows is a way to show emotion in front of one another that they might not feel comfortable showing in front of everyone else. As a religious couple, my husband and I decided to say our vows in front of our ceremony attendee because we were in turn asking them to help us uphold the words we were saying to one another. Every couple is different, but I've definitely witnessed some awkward vows where you can tell the couple hasn't thought through how vulnerable the words they had planned to say are until the very moment they are asked to share them.

Vows are not always about being poetic or perfect — it’s about being you. Whether you're funny, serious, romantic, or reserved, this guide gives you structure, ideas, and prompts to help you put your heart into words. Write them from your heart and make sure you're on the same page as your future spouse when it comes to what you're saying--- and you'll be golden. :)