How to plan a NYC micro-wedding you will actually enjoy.

How to plan an NYC micro-wedding you'll actually enjoy.

I've photographed over 50 big, small, tiny, intimate weddings (more than half of those in NYC) and today I'm sharing all my wedding observations with you so you can plan an NYC micro-wedding you will actually ENJOY attending.

First, you need to understand that I’ve photographed soooo many different KIND of weddings and have observed the couples, the guests, and the wedding parties from all of them. Here's a little bit of backstory on me and why I think I'm qualified to give you advice!

In 2023 I photographed a mix of 15 elopements, micro-weddings, and weddings in New York City. It was a really fun year and when I look back I’m so grateful I got to be apart of so many intimate moments with couples I really had an opportunity to get to know really really well. I honestly think being the Photographer means getting to know the couple on a level that’s much deeper than most of the other vendors. We’re around for so many moments of your day. 

Back when I lived in Texas five years ago, I was busy photographing bigger weddings, usually at a very Texas-y wedding venue or barn venue with couples planning very traditional wedding day experiences. 

Now that I live in New York, my focus is much more on Micro-Weddings and Elopements with couples who value non-traditional wedding experiences. And instead of barn venues, New York City IS the venue. As a photographer, I’ve learned I’m better at photographing smaller more intimate weddings that allow me to cultivate a friendship with the couples I’m photographing and allow me greater ability to be creative with their photos.  

But since I’ve had such an awesome opportunity to have photographed a variety of weddings, I thought I’d share my observations on what makes for a really stress-free wedding day.

Not every wedding I’ve photographed has been stress-free. Some have felt too long and guests look like they are trying to stay awake. Some couples have felt obligated to do what their parents wanted them to do and in turn felt like their wedding didn’t really feel like “them”. 

So let's get into this list I've made you!

Here's what question I think we're really asking: What decisions did couples make while planning their weddings that lead them to be really chill, relaxed, and so so joyful and happy on their wedding day?

I think it’s a few things…

1. Happy couples know their social capacity and are aware of what they do and don’t want to put their energy toward on their wedding day. Couples who needed more space and quieter getting ready moments did not opt for huge wedding parties or big “Getting ready” rooms. Some opted to get ready at their home or apartment alone or together. While I’ve photographed couples with BIG personalities who LIVE FOR the vibes of a Getting Ready party type feel, most couples I photograph, want space. 

I genuinely think happy couples with smaller initimate weddings are more mindful of their own energy and happiness— they want to make sure they feel excited and at peace on their wedding day. Oftentimes that means socializing less and being present more. 

2. Happy couples discussed their loved ones or parents’ expectations of their wedding before they’ve planned it. Some couples communicate clearly to their family whether or not they want them to be involved in the planning process at all. As a couple you get to decide how important you want your parents’ or family’s opinion to be on your wedding day and leading up to it. Letting your family know what roll you want them to play ahead of time can be helpful so they don’t overstep or overwhelm you. 

3. Happy couples have a private First look or a Private Vow sharing. So many couples having chosen to have intimate first looks in a completely different location than their friends and family. I had a couple share their first look and vows in their honeymoon suite at the Ace Hotel before their ceremony, because they both knew they would be weeping through their vows and didn’t want to say certain truths in front of their family. 

I’ve been at a wedding where the groom was so nervous about sharing his vows in front of an audience, he opted out of sharing them just after the bride had vulnerably shared hers. While your friends and family show up to your wedding to celebrate you, and, in some traditions they are there to witness and encourage you to keep your vows, you shouldn’t feel pressured to share such intimate words with everyone. 

4. Happy couples elope now and party later. They opt for an Intimate ceremony with only a few family or friends with a big dance or karaoke party later with more friends, family, co-workers, etc. 

5. Happy couples tend to value the idea of keeping their wedding day sacred and fun, not perfect. Sometimes there are just so many prying eyes and big opinions on your wedding day. Making sure you have moments just between you two and your absolute favorite people at your wedding is so so important. If you value intimate conversations with everyone who shows up for your wedding, make sure you’ve created an event that allows you to do so. If you need to lower your own expectations so when things don’t go exactly as planned you aren’t too disappointed, I recommend doing so. 

Recently, I was photographing a couple at their wedding and they had ordered an old timey taxi to show up for photos. The Taxi service let them know about an hour before, that they weren’t going to make it. This couple was sad, but they didn’t let it ruin their day. With so many plans in place, they knew something might not work out. 

6. The most chill couples are the ones who are really grounded in themselves and their relationship. They don’t need things to go perfectly, they know they are just excited to see each other and celebrate. They are ready to have fun and they have made sure they’ve planned something that really feels like “them” and really will be fun for them to show up to! They also make sure to surround themselves with people who are just as grounded in themselves too. People who know their wedding day is a celebration about them.

I’ve had couples who love karaoke go karaoke-ing instead of having a reception. I’ve had couples bring in big bands and their favorite ice cream parlour. I’ve had couples want quiet brunches at their favorite Saturday spot in the city. And I’ve had couples wear non-traditional wedding attire because it felt more their style. 

Your wedding is yours.

And planning a celebration that sounds like something you would really enjoy, that also represents your love is the goal!

So, tell me, what do you think it would look like to plan something you’d be really really excited to show up to?!